literature

Matrix, Saga of Life PRT 1

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Literature Text

A ebony tiger was dragged into the millatary barracks many soilder laid eyes on one whom had killed many members of thier familys, one whom had destroyed many human villilages, he looked up at them feeling their sorrow and their hatred, he was dragged into a metal room where two chairs and a metal table sat, on the far end of the table was a Srgt named andrew fillion, Matrix glared at the Srgt as one of the two soilders hand cuffed him to the chair while the other wrapped a large stack of chains around him, he flexed without the soilder's noticing, the soilder hooked the chains to a slot in the floor scuring the chains and the chair, he contuied to glare at the Srgt "is this all really nessasary?" he reconised the Srgt, It was andrew fillion whom killed his sister "You killed jessie did you not?" The Srgt quivered "nooo, I don't even know who she is" "you lie" matrix spoke letting go of his flex letting the chains slide off him and the chair, He pulled up on the hand cuffs snapping them sending shards into the air, within the same second he threw the chair up into the lights causing the room to turn pitch black, a scream was heard as the srgt's body was tossed into the shatterproof window spraying blood allover the window, the watched as he was dragged back into the darkness the soilders heard a thump, the emergany lights turned on to reveal the srgt pinned yet still alive to the wall by a steel chair. matrix sat on the steel table cross legged, He spoke one sentance "Bring me my sister, or else he goes" his bladed tail rose aimed at andrew fillion, the soilders nodded slowly four ran off down the hall two remained and went to the doors to lock them matrix laughed "if I wanted out I could get out with ease" five soilders remained by the window as if gaurding it
Part one of Matrix Saga of life

It starts out near the end of the Farside War but will soon get onto the part about his life and how he was created
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Comments3
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punxrox's avatar
I think the idea of what you're writing is good.. it sounds like it's really interesting with a lot of action.. but.. you need to put a ton more detail.. what's he feeling? What are the expressions of the people watching him? The species? Maybe even go into depth of each of the outside characters.. for example 'the sargent was old and scarred, and had the eyes of an old war-hawk caught in a storm'.. or something, with a few more metaphors. 'f ya want, I can give ya a few tips or something over a DA note, and edit some stuff for you as far as grammar.